The key to a healthy relationship is communication! But not just any ol’ ‘communication’, but the right kind of communication. It is important to make sure that you are communicating in a loving manner. Here are seven conversations every couple should have before tying the knot.
1) Recognizing Unhealthy Practices
We all have learned unhealthy ways of communication. Un-learn them.
2) Finding the Raw Spots
There are raw spots in us all, and they are easy to spot-if the reaction to a perceived offense seems way out of proportion or something small blows up out of left field. In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us. Anger tells us to approach and fight. Shame tells us to withdraw and hide. Fear tells us to flee or freeze, or in extreme cases turn and attack. Sadness primes us to grieve and let go. We do not need to be prisoners of our pasts.
3) Revisiting a Rocky Moment
A conversation can blow up, and when it does, it may be good to lay it down and pick it up later when the emotions have calmed down. However, make sure to revisit the issue so it doesn’t go un-resolved.
4) Tell Your Partner What You Need, Even if it’s Difficult
This is a lot harder in real life. We often steer clear of difficult things. But it doesn’t do anyone any good to let your needs go unmet, as well as unspoken.
5) Forgiving Injuries
We have all been hurt, and we all have hurt others. Its life. We must forgive. Even if someone wronged us and hasn’t asked us for forgiveness, we must forgive. It does our soul well to let things go.
6) Bonding Through Sex and Touch
I am a big promoter of touch and sex, it heals the soul. I have even encouraged couples who are struggling to have sex every day for a month and just see how it affects the relationship.
7) Keeping Your Love Alive
All relationships can suffer from a slow death if we do not keep the fire stoked. It’s our job to keep the love alive. We must be intentional with our love.
About the Author:
Timmy Gibson is Kansas City’s relationship expert. Along with his wife of 20 years, Jana, they founded Restore, which is a Relationship Coaching Service with a vision to help couples have the kind of relationship they’ve always dreamed of having. They have been helping couples write their love story for over 15 years here in Kansas City and are considered the go-to couple for all things relationships. Timmy is also the founder and lead teacher at Mercy Church here in Kansas City. You can find out more about Timmy at www.timmygibson.com or